Seriously...I'm Kidding

"I've experienced a whole lot the last few years, and I have a lot to share. So I hope that you'll take a moment to sit back, relax, and enjoy the words I've put together for you in this book. I think you'll find I've left no stone unturned, no door unopened, no window unbroken, no rug unvacuumed, no ivories untickled. What I'm saying is, let us begin, shall we?"
---Ellen DeGeneres