I'm Bad, I'm Ugly, I'm Stupid: Children, Shame, and Self-Respect

Shame develops when we are infants, way before we have any control over how we think about ourselves. Very young children can believe that they are bad, ugly, unworthy, unlovable, and stupid. It’s important to help children let go of shame because shame affects quality of life, life achievement, and relationships. In this article, I show how shame develops and how parents and others can respond to children who show signs that they are struggling with shame. Instead of feeling worthless, children can learn to respect themselves and others.