Goat Herpes and Other Problems

It's Willow's first day on the job at Godly Acres, the world's premier rehabilitation facility for gods and goddesses, and she might be in over her head. Sex addiction, alcoholism, eating disorders, goat herpes...you name it, there's a Greek god who has it. Will she be able to help these gods and goddesses work through their issues? Find out in Goat Herpes and Other Problems! (Goat Herpes and Other Problems contains the plays "Godly Acres," "Godly Acres: Bitch Session," and "Playing Doctor.")
Excerpt:ZEUS
I can't believe Mom is making us do this...it's really cutting into my getting laid time.
 
CRONUS
            You could've stood up to her and said no.
 
ZEUS
Yeah, but when she gives me the whole "if it weren't for me, your father would've eaten you" guilt trip, it's hard to say no to her.
 
(WILLOW, a bubbly twenty-something, enters holding a notebook and a pen.)
 
WILLOW
                        (annoyingly upbeat)
            Hello, everybody!  How are we today?
 
ZEUS
I'm great...why don't we get out of here and go somewhere a little more private?
WILLOW
                        (uncomfortably)
            I don't think that would be a good idea.
 
ZEUS
            Come on...I'll let you buy me a drink.
 
WILLOW
            You're being inappropriate.
 
ZEUS
            It's what I do.
 
WILLOW
                        (taking a seat)
Let's get started, shall we?  Why don't we go around the circle and introduce ourselves?  I'm Willow.
            (pause)
You're all supposed to say "Hi, Willow" now.
 
DIONYSUS, HERMES, ARES, CRONUS, AND ZEUS
                        (unenthusiastically)
            Hi, Willow.
 
WILLOW
Hi!  I'm new to Godly Acres, and this will be my first time leading group therapy. I'm twenty-six years old, have two sisters-
 
ZEUS
            Nice!
 
WILLOW

And I enjoy scrapbooking and knitting sweaters for my cats.
                        (pointing to Dionysus)
            Your turn!
 
DIONYSUS
            I'm Dionysus, and I'm an alcoholic.
 
WILLOW, HERMES, ARES, CRONUS, AND ZEUS
            Hi, Dionysus!
 
WILLOW
            When did you first realize you were an alcoholic?
 
DIONYSUS
Pretty recently.  I've always enjoyed alcohol-I'm the god of wine, I don't have much of a choice-but I was mostly a social drinker.  Somewhere along the line, it stopped being about fun, and it got to the point where I had to have it every day.  Everyone around me wants to party all the time, so it's pretty hard for me to avoid alcohol. After a particularly wild party resulted in me getting a tattoo of Pegasus on my lower back, I thought it would be a good idea to try to quit drinking.