40 Years a Slave to My Narcissistic Family

The Emancipated Daughter (or Emancipated Son) represents the untold number around the world who suffer one of the most horrendous yet silent forms of slavery, a bondage that binds one mentally, emotionally, and spiritually. Were the captor a stranger, the captive could find a small amount of consolation in the fact that the captor is not someone who is supposed to love her. When the captor is a parent, though, consolation on any scale is a luxurious commodity the ACON (Adult Child of Narcissist) can neither afford nor find.

The Emancipated Daughter (or Emancipated Son) is any ACON who struggles to grasp the immensity of the psychological perplexity surrounding her; who wants to walk safely without triggering the landmines that the NP (Narcissistic Parent) plants in virtually every conversation or circumstance imaginable; and who desires to live a life free of shackles.

It is my sincere hope and prayer that this journal strengthens you to take those first steps toward emotional emancipation. However, if this journal does not provide the help that you seek, there are numerous books, websites, forums, and blogs available addressing this subject — which, in and of itself, indicates how many suffer.

There is hope beyond the hopelessness. You do not have to stay bound in the psychological blackmail and relational isolation that binds you. Please do not give up. And remember, you are not alone.
—One Emancipated Daughter

Table of Terms

FOO: Family of Origin

NP: Narcissistic Parent

NM: Narcissistic Mother, queen of the universe whose children are subjects to serve her every emotional whim and pathological craving for worship.

NF: Narcissistic Father, same as above, except king of the universe.

ACON: Adult Child of Narcissist

ACONs: Adult Children of Narcissists

GC: Golden Child, the child who can do no wrong in the eyes of the NP. Often a psychological twin of the NP.

SG: Scapegoat, the child who can do no right in the eyes of the NP. The most independent member of the family, which is a threat to the NP who likes to control. The SG has an uncanny ability to see through the façade of the NP, which is a double-edged sword.

First, it saves the SG from a life of illusion about the pathetic parody that is her FOO, but it also causes the child to feel guilty for having such doubts about her own parent. Second, this intuitive sharpness does not go undetected by the NP, who harangues the SG to undermine the child’s credibility and to break her spirit.

FM: Flying Monkey, the child who is neither a GC or SG but participates in the harassment of the SG to garner favor with the NP. The FM is no friend or loyal sibling to the SG, though the SG misinterprets feigned concern for actual love. And no wonder, the dynamics within the FOO has left the SG under the dinner table like a dog begging for scraps of love.

RC: regular contact

LC: limited contact

NC: no contact